Management Training Classes:
Project Management and Dealing With Difficult People With Ease
Have you ever been put in a situation as a Project manager where you have to deal with a difficult people and you feel you are going to explode?
Yes, I can remember in my early days as an aspiring Project Manager where I have lost my patience and cool - it wasn't a pretty sight.
The cost to you if you mishandle the situation is a number of things if witnessed by your team and they are: -
1. Loss of credibility
2. Loss of leadership
3. Loss of respect
4. Any more that you can think of?
In my vast experience the most important qualities in regard to interpersonal skills with the team are: -
1. Leadership, calm and poise
2. Credibility and trust
3. Ability to work with everybody
4. Ability to motivate and influence your team to produce great outcomes
As a Project Manager you will be put in various difficult stressful and psychological situations where your leadership and statesmanship needs to shine through.
Whenever a difficult situation occurs it is important to be aware of your state and how you are reacting. If you are feeling frustrated, angry, fearful or irritable you need time out to regain your inner composure. In my experience I have found that an effective way to regain composure is simply take several moments and take a deep breathe to calm and relax myself.
In my view the state you would want to be in to effectively deal with most difficult situations is to be calm, resourceful, honest and to project quiet confidence and assertiveness without being threatening or intimidating. The aim is to identify the problem and via a mutually agreed process to resolve the situation, ideally as a win/win outcome.
Let us walk through the process: -
1) Identify the problem calmly. This means adjusting our state to be calm and resourceful. Remember when emotions are high intelligence is low. As a leader whilst you cannot directly control another person's emotions you have the power to control your own emotionally state.
2) Steer the process from a blame game or emotional out burst into a process whereby you listen and identify and record problems. Steer the situation by stating we are aiming to rectify the problem in the best interests of the project and the intent is to strive for a win / win outcome.
3) Methodically go through each problem doing a lot of listening and from time to time steer the conversation back on to a constructive track. When allegations are made gently use precision questions to help substantiate claims by asking questions like -
Have you got examples?
Specifically, how...?
For what purpose...?
How do you know for sure that...?
4) Once the problem can be defined and substantiated then work to look at alternative solutions. Ask questions like "What if we tackled the problem this way...? Use language of "We" and "Together" when searching for mutual solutions.
5) Agree on best solution by going back to the intent - a win / win outcome for the project. Agree to the best outcome by closing
"If I do << actions >> and if you do << actions >> then do we agree that this will be the best outcome?
6) On agreement then close meeting and write up minutes / agreement email to sum up agreement and follow up actions as agreed.
Note this summarises one of many processes that can be used to solve stressful and difficult project team problems.
In conclusion these techniques are other examples of self-mastery as a Project Manager. The major key is to stay calm and resourceful under stressful and difficult situations and lead by example.
Tony Neale:
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Management Training Classes
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