Management Training:
Management Training - Why Managers Avoid "I Am Terminating You" Conversations
It's a conversation that most managers dread.
The employee must be terminated and tough consequences loom for both the employee (most severe) and the company -- about accepting the decision (because they don't have a choice) or rejecting it (by screaming and yelling at the manager), and then choosing what's next.
Hopefully "going postal" is not it.
When is the right time -- if there is one -- for management to bring up these painful issues with someone who is terminated? Guidelines for management say the discussion should be at the start of the day. There are differing thoughts about which day is best.
But many managers, especially older ones, say they would postpone those conversations, even if it is costing the organization big bucks.
Advice that sounds good on paper may be no match for the gut-wrenching emotions on both sides of the table when it comes to facing employees and knowing the impact it will have on their families. It is especially difficult if it is a long-time valued employee, or someone you know is going to have major problems.
Our experience clearly tells us that clear, direct, to-the-point communication is best.
Even though most people know what's coming they, of course, don't want it to be them.
Many managers' behaviours come as a surprise because they deal with making tough decisions all the time. But the "I am terminating you" conversations seem to be the most difficult.
I speculate that there are three major reasons for the difficulties:
- Management is not well-trained in how to terminate an employee;
- Managers don't like to deal with difficult, painful feelings bubbling up out of employees;
- Managers, in doing the terminal conversation, are faced with the anxiety-arousing possibility that they could be on the other side of the desk at some time in the future.
These kinds of conversations can be time-consuming and difficult. So, it is important for the manager to make it brief, to-the-point and then outline some steps for the person to do next.
Before the conversation, the manager should have a practice round with her/his boss or someone from HR to do a role play.
If that is not working, then the manager should bring in another person to help if the conversation gets off the rails. It's such an uncomfortable conversation. It takes lots of practice to learn how to do it well.
Of course management must make sure that all the legal and company policy issues are covered and understood beforehand. This is crucial to minimizing the legal ramifications of the employee's termination. Different countries and jurisdictions have different rules to follow.
So, the short hand guideline is: Keep it brief. Be factual. Allow for some feelings from the employee. Look empathetic but do not respond to any bargaining that the employee may get into. If the session becomes overly emotional or long, bring it to an end. Have someone in the background who can take the employee to the next phase.
If, after the terminating conversation, you are upset, let you boss know you need to take a short break. Go for a walk. Have a healthy, nutritious beverage or meal then return to work. This too shall pass.
Finally, review with your boss or the HR person: "What went well?"; "What can I improve on?" and "What was missing?" This will make it easier next time.
And there will be a next time.
Dr. Jim Sellner:
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Subject:
Management Training
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