Management Training:
Management Course: Managing People is Like Marriage... Or Golf... Or Sex
Henry Mintzberg, for the last 30 years has been asking new managers and supervisors the following question:
"What happened the day you became a manager or supervisor?"
The almost universal response has been puzzled looks, often shrugs, "I dunno?"or comments like "Nothing, really."
Companies' general approach to new managers is, like how people approach marriage, golf or sex, "figure it out for yourself."
Yesterday people were making things, selling stuff or programming software. Today, because they are "nice" people and technically competent, they get promoted.
So what's that got to do with marriage, golf or sex?
People get married with very little instruction about how to have a long-term intimate relationship.
There is zero training on how to raise kids, let alone how to make a marriage work with children in the picture.
No one ever takes a course on how to get long with the in-laws and outlaws. Everyone just complains about them.
So, the divorce rate ranges between 40-50%.
No one gets an annual performance management review on their marriage, (actually most managers don't get adequate performance reviews either) so we don't know how well people are doing who stay together. My experience, having counselled about 1000 couples over a 30-year period is - most husbands and wives are not high performers of marriage.
Like married couples, managers get little, or no, training on how to manage people. Research from Harvard Business School indicates that most managers perform at about a 40-50% proficiency level. Other research tells us people quit their jobs because of their manager was doing a bad job.
Now to golf.
The average golfer fires in the 109 strokes, plus, range over 18 holes.
Most golfers do not take lessons to improve their game but prefer to buy "Big Bertha Clubs" or weird and wonderful putters that are supposed to improve ones' game. Those things don't work.
Managers are like golfers. They are not very good at what they do. They complain about the people they have to manage, like golfers outrage over their balls, clubs or the wind. Managers look to, or are sent to, various quick fix courses to deal with their incompetencies. They don't work.
And, like golfers, managers think they're better than really are - in spite of the evidence to the contrary.
The difference between golfers and managers is that managers can more easily fool themselves about their management skills because of the vagaries of the human factors.
Managers are in complete denial about the fact that people behave pretty close to how the manager teaches them to behave. This fact, most managers protest with outrageous indignation. A golfer cannot deny (although most do) that where their balls land is exactly where s/he hit them! It is simply the law of physics!
Now to sex and management.
Managers manage people in much the same way that people have sex. They assume that what is good for the "giver" is good for the recipient. And the recipient should like the delivery method and be appreciative of the efforts.
Most managers, like lovers, are shocked when they learn how much the recipients (direct reports) of their managerial behaviours do not like what is being done to them.
So, managers, husbands, wives, golfers and lovers operate in the same plane of studied denial and as a result share the same levels of frustration, cynicism and failure.
Only when we accept that we are living in the room for improvement will our behaviours change -- should we choose to take the assignment!
Dr. Jim Sellner:
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Subject:
Management Course
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